Can't sleep, maybe it's the caffeine that my body is no longer used to or maybe it's that my week long vacation from work is at its end? Either way for some reason I cannot sleep. I feel as if my mind is splintering. I once knew what Heaven and Hell was, right and wrong, and what one(possibly God?) should expect of us as human beings, but now it seems to me that I have forgotten. When asked the other day what I thought about right and wrong I could not give my own answer and ran circles around the question. I once thought I knew the criteria by which to judge myself and others by, but I do not. My views have been skewered by unknown factors and possibly experiences- which ones I do not know. Do we simply play by society's rules and assume that the law is just? I can't even assume society is right; society has so many inane ideas and ridiculous norms currently in place that I simply refuse to accept anything society has as right or just. Does the church as an establishment have the right ideas? Again no, just look at the church's history, Catholic in particular, it has bred more corruption and defilement than it has stopped. Heaven or Hell, reward or punishment? Setting aside the possibility of their existences, or rather lack of, would I really fit in either one, and by which criteria would I be judged? I don't know at the moment, but the more I ramble incessantly about the topic, it seems the less I actually care. I almost wanted to end this with "God forgive me" but am finding out that I can't.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Date with Fate
Fate is always one of those fascinating concepts as people always feel the need to stop and ask whether or not they believe in fate, when in reality it doesn't matter whether we believe in fate. The fact is plain and simple, fate doesn't care if you accept it or not, fate will pick you, hand pick you, to fulfill its every need. Once you're picked by fate it really doesn't matter what you say or do or if you run or hide, fate will grab you by the neck and force you into a series of seemingly coincidental and unfair circumstances that you'll have no choice but to endure. This is what happened to Roger Homme, you may or may not have heard of him before this point, but let me tell you that something most extraordinary happened to Roger Homme, something that could only have been done by the astonishing hand of fate.
Roger Homme was your average guy, late twenties, finished school, lived on his own and held a stable but average at best paying job. His life consisted of the average grind that I'm certain you're familiar with, you know the struggle to wake up in the morning to the ear-piercing and gut-wrenching shrieks from the alarm clock, followed by the race to make it to work on time, continued by the challenge to actually stay conscious at work the entire day, yes Roger went through that as well. Roger would then go home from work to either spend the night at home lounging in his underwear fantasizing about all the great things he'd love to someday actually stand up and accomplish, or spend the night going out with his closest friends and working to erase his memory of the day by ingesting as much alcohol as his body could take. It was at some point during this daily grind that fate decided that Roger was the perfect candidate for its new pet project. If you could just zoom out for a minute and look at things from fate's point of view then it would make perfect sense, but sadly you can't do that, no one can.
It was some uneventful night after drinking himself stupid with his friends at the Sunset Grill and Tavern that Roger found himself in a dire predicament. He blinked in and out of consciousness occasionally with no understanding of what was happening to him or where he was. He'd wake for just a mere second to an extreme amount of pain and just as quick blink right back to the abyss of his subconscious. When Roger actually woke up he found that his hands and feet were both numb, a consequence of both being tied tightly for a long period of time. His mouth was dry and sore from having what felt like a sock lodged in it. Roger looked around frantically but could not see a clear image of anything, maybe it was the alcohol still flowing through his body, or perhaps it was something else, he didn't know. The only thing he did know was that he was in a world of pain and things weren't looking good for him. Roger was laying on cold concrete but considering he couldn't move he didn't seem to mind the cold floor very much. A hand came from above and grabbed him by the chin, shook him a bit, and then just threw him back down.
"This new batch looks promising, I'm surprised you were able to pull in some spring chickens. This definitely beats the homeless batch from last month," said an unfamiliar voice over Roger.
"Yep, it's amazing what the promise of sex will do to a man," responded another voice.
"Do you think any of them will be missed?"
"I'm sure all of them will be missed but the reality is it won't matter. If they fail we'll just dump them like the last three batches."
"It'll seem like such a waste to me if we just lose every one of these. Hopefully we can get this right."
Roger kicked and squirmed letting his captors know that he was awake.
A feminine figure in what appeared to be a white coat placed a shiny red heel on Roger's chest and pressed down.
"Now now sweety, we don't need you to be fucking annoying. Why don't you try and get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning."
Roger tried screaming but it just came out muffled, and when he proceeded to squirm he was rewarded with a slight prick on his neck and he felt every muscle in his body loosen and lost consciousness.
Now from the look of it Roger was the worst possible situation that any guy could be in, but in all actuality, this was the make or break event of his life, and this event would forever mold Roger Homme into a new man. I don't blame you or him for thinking that this was the beginning of the end, but you must trust me when I say this is the beginning of his beginning. Roger was just a mundane man with nothing going for him in life, this truly was the moment his life was given purpose. What was he before this? An ant in all actuality, a drone, and a buffoon to those who knew him best. Fate never makes mistakes, and it definitely made no mistake with Roger.